It's Him!

It's Him!. The story is about a mean couple who lives deep in the woods. The story appears Scary Stories 3: More Tales to Chill your Bones. Despite it's violent and crude nature, the story is meant to be funny.



The Story
The woman was the meanest, most miserable person you could imagine, and her husband was just as bad. The only good thing was that they lived in the woods all by themselves and couldn't bother anybody else. One day they were off somewhere, getting firewood. And the woman got so mad at her husband, that she grabbed an ax and cut his head off, just like that. And she buried him nice and neat and went home. She made herself a cup of tea, and went out on the porch. She sat there rocking in her rocking chair, sipping her tea, thinking how glad she was that she had done this awful thing.

After a while, she heard this old, empty voice out in the distance, moaning and groaning. And it was saying, "Whoooooooo's going to stay with me this cold and lonely night? Whoooooooo?" "It's him!" she thought, and she hollered back, "Stay by yourself, you old goat!" Soon she heard the voice again. Only now it was closer, and it was saying, "Whoooooooo's going to sit with me this cold and lonely night? Whoooooooo?" "Only a crazy man!" she shouted. "Sit by yourself, you dirty rat!"

Then she heard the voice even closer, and it was saying, "Whooooooo's going to be with me this cold and lonely night? Whoooooooo?" "Nobody!" she sneered. "Be by yourself, you miserable mole!"

She stood up to go into the house, but now the voice was right behind her, and it was whispering, "Who's going to stay with me this cold and lonely night? Whoooooooo?" Before she could answer back, a big hairy hand came around the corner, and grabbed her. And the voice hollered, "YOU ARE!"

(As you say the last line, grab one of your friends.)